Conflict

Text: James 4:1-6

1  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Intro:The word wars in verse 1 means conflict. The Bible asks a very valid question: Where does conflict come from?

Many times we just focus on the conflict, rather than focusing on the origins of the conflict. So we seem to just go from one conflict to another, because we have not actually learned why things are happening the way they are?

Proverbs 17:14  The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

What happens when a breach forms in a dam? The dam breaks. That is what this verse is actually talking about. The beginning of strife is as a breach in a dam.

Then it says leave it alone before it gathers volume, because that is exactly what happens with contention. The more you deal with it, the more volume it gathers. The more volume it gathers, the more you want to talk, the more you talk, the worse you feel, the worse you feel, the more you talk, and the more you talk, the more volume it gathers, and before you know it, you are getting ready to go to war with each other about a piece of paper that fell on the floor.

Today, I want to talk about how to deal with conflict, because if we can learn how to deal with conflict, then it will no longer take us where it has been taking us.

Conflict is inevitable. You can no more avoid conflict, than you can stop breathing for 5 minutes. As long as you are in a church with sinners saved by grace, there will be conflict. The problem is no the conflict itself, but the way people handle conflict. The way a person handles conflict says a lot about you.

a.   So how do we deal with conflict?

1.   Submit yourself to God.

a.   Whenever you deal with conflict the wrong way, it is because you are not submitted to God the way you need to be.

b.   James 4:1  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

Also Verse 7: Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

c.   Many times conflict comes from unsatisfied selfish desires. Sometimes those unsatisfied selfish desires are not even verbally spoken, but they are there.

             i.    Sometimes it is the desire to be heard, or to be understood.

d.   James 1:12 -15

12  Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

13  Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

14  But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

15  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

             i.        The word lust means desire. When lust hath desire, or have conceived desire, it brings forth sin.

            ii.        Lust gives birth to sin. Sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. So you got this infant that turns into this monster, and brings death to everyhting, death to your relationships, to your walk with God, to your dreams, to your purpose. Just so that "I can have my way."

e.   Verse 19  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

             i.    An unspiritual person cannot be slow to wrath. An unspiritual person walks around like they have two mouths and one ear.

            ii.    Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is listen.

          iii.    That's why church is so important, because it makes you sit down and listen, instead of always trying to offer a rebuttal why I am the way that I am. It made me sit down and listen, and deal with what was wrong about me.

f.    When you learn the importance of submitting yourself unto God, it frees you, because then you are free to do what God would have you do, regardless of what anyone else does.

g.   1 Peter 2:20  20  For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

             i.    This is talking about when you do something right, and don't get the end result that you expected.

            ii.    Sometimes things don't turn out as expected, because it makes sure your motives are where they need to be.

          iii.    If I do what I do because I'm looking for something back, then my motives are not right.

h.   Verses 21-22 

21  For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

22  Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:

             i.        Notice the example is that we should follow IN HIS STEPS, that the same way He was, so we ought to also be as His children.

            ii.        When we suffer for doing the right thing, we ought to glorify God on that behalf.

i.    Verse 23  Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

             i.    When He was threatened, when he suffered, He threatened not. Can you imagine Jesus threatening them?

            ii.    When the Bible says follow in His steps, that's exactly what they're talking about.

j.    Verses 24-25

24  Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

25  For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

             i.        Because He was committed to God, He didn't care what the people did, because He was committed to doing the will of God.

            ii.        The problem in a lot of churches, is we are so concerned with the thoughts of others, and oblivious to the thoughts of God.

k.   Romans Chapter 12 tells us not to avenge ourselves. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay.

2.  Draw nigh to God, through prayer.

a.   If there is one element in the church that we miss, it is something called prayer. And I'm not talking about a prayer time, I'm talking about a prayer life, where your life is saturated with prayer.

b.   James 4

2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.

10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

             i.        There are things that you and I must start taking to the Lord and not to the ears of people.

            ii.        I am not to take a situation, and take it to everyone else, and try to get them to understand why I am the way I am and why I feel the way I feel.

                       1.        If I do that, I have caused a spirit of division.

c.   One of the challenges of being a pastor in a church is being able to see the big picture, while everyone else only sees the bit of the pie that they take off and put on the plate.

             i.    I'm not magnifying myself, but I do magnify my office, because the Bible says I am to know the stat of my flock. My office requires me to be able to know where the people of God are, how to fight for you, how to cry for you.

            ii.    It is about doing what my office tells me to do.

          iii.    If you spent more time praying for your pastor, you would spend less time criticizing your pastor. Do you know how hard it is to criticize someone that you're praying for?

d.   You can't be a part of something, if you are not apart FROM it. If you feel like there is a distance, that means you have to be a part of it. There are so many ministries in this church.

             i.    Those ministries exist to keep us close, to keep us communicating, to keep is fellowshipping.

            ii.    Get to somebody you don't know, get to know them. Stop hangning around the same group of people you hang around every Sunday.

e.   Did you know that murder is a type of hatred?

f.    John 3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

             i.    Do you know, that you can't hate the people of God, and be right with God? That you can't listen to somebody backbite the people of God and be right with God?

g.   Our text says you fight and war, you’re battling! The problem starts when you take your battle to everyone else and not the one against whom your battle is.

h.   Prayer gives you an understanding. It doesn't necessarily change the stuff, but it changes you.

             i.    Prayer is a telltale sign you are submitted to God.

i.     It's not that we don't know how to pray, we don't know how important prayer is, so Facebook has taken the place of our prayer closet.

j.    Prayer is essential to going through conflict correctly. Jesus said pray that ye enter not into temptation, for the flesh is weak but the spirit is willing.

             i.    It is a silly person that underestimate the power of the flesh. The flesh is weak, but it can make you feel like it's strong.

            ii.    Paul said in my flesh, in my self, dwelleth no good thing.

k.   We need some men of God, because men of God command themselves before they command their wives.

l.     Most of the time when we fail God, we can trace it back to a lack of prayer, or a lack of Bible reading, that got us off course.

3.  Humble yourself!

a.   Stop thinking that you too good to be treated like this. Really? I thought the best person that ever lived was Jesus, and He allowed them to pull His hair! He was our creator, and He humbled Himself and became obedient, even to the point of dying on the Cross.

b.   Why do we get to a place in our own life, where we say "I want it my way"?

             i.        Imagine what would have happened, if Jesus said that's it, no more, destroy everything!

c.   You can't follow Christ in pride. Following Christ determines that you take the low road, every time.

d.   Humility is strength under control. There was none stronger than Jesus but, strong as He was, He had total control.

e.   That's why we got to stop taking everything so personally. Pride makes you take stuff that people say about you to heart.

             i.        Because of pride, we speak evil of one another, and many times, it's done out of earshot of the one being talked about - behind their back.

            ii.        Gossip doesn't have any loyalty, to anybody.

          iii.        When people come to you and talk about somebody else, they're manipulating you.

f.    Stop allowing people to manipulate you under the guise of being your friend. Friends don't poison, they build, they help.

g.   Humility will help you not to attack, and to not defend yourself.

             i.        Live by the motto, "No attack, no defense."

h.   The enemy uses conflict to distract you. While you are so worried about what somebody else is doing, you can't even focus on the vision God has given you.

God help us to get right with God today, and not to continue to allow the enemy to feed us poison - and call it Koolaid.

Putting on Church Clothes

Text: Genesis

2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

3:7  And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them. 

Help us dear God to not get distracted by the apparel of our pastor today, but to focus on the passage.

Adam and Eve were not perfect, but they were innocent, unknowing of the effects of same.

a.   In their nakedness, they were totally open with one another, no secrets, no same, accepting each other without reservation.

             i.        The first thing they did after disobedience was cover themselves, and the second thing they did was hide themselves.

b.   Sometimes we dress the way we dress vecause they are trying to hide the way they are.

             i.        Many don't come to church because they don't have church clothes. They "know" you aren't supposed to come to church with shorts and a t-shirt, because they are not "church clothes."

            ii.        Understand that some people won't come to church befcause they don't have slacks or a tie, lest they get judged by what they have on.

c.   The Lord is moving us in a different direction than I've personally ever seen.

d.   When we're talking about reaching people with the Gospel, we have to get past this notion that people have to come to church looking a certain way.

e.   James 2:1

1  My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.

2  For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment;

3  And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:

4  Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?

5  Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?

f.    It's a shame that sometimes we accept what God doesn't accept, and then we don't accept what He does.

             i.        It's better for you to be in the house of God the way that you are and let Him change you from the inside, than for you to be worrying about what you're wearing.

            ii.        It is a shame that a person will look down on someone who doesn't have what they have, but not lift a finger to help them.

g.   Faithfulness is not about your words, faithfulness is a lifestyle. Just because are you are good at something doesn't mean you will be faithful at it.

h.   1 John 3:11-13

11  For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

12  Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works were evil, and his brother's righteous.

13  Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.

             i.    See I don't marvel that the world hate me, I marvel sometimes that Christian people hate me.

14  We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.

15  Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

16  Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

17  But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

             i.    16 and 17 give you an idea of what it's like to really love somebody. I could tell you I love you all day long, but if I don't have actions to back up my love, I may as well shut up.

            ii.    How does the love of God dwell in a person, who sees that his brother has need, and they can meet the need but they decide not to?

18  My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

             i.    You can always tell when a person is walking with God, because they will love the way they should.

            ii.    Real love cannot be duplicated by the flesh. I If you DO love, it is only because of the grace of God in your heart that allows you to love.

          iii.    You can duplicate some of the other fruits, but you cannot duplicate love. If you are a fleshly person, it is all about you.

 i.        Love is always spoken as an action, not just a word. Whenever you see the word love in the Bible it's not just talking about a word. Love is action, agape love is the highest form, and it's not just something you can say out of your mouth.

             i.        Faith is not something that you can just say I got.

            ii.        Words without actions means absolutely nothing.

What is real church clothes?

1.   You cannot have church clothes if you don't have Christ!

a.        That's the first thing you have to learn to put on, is Christ. If you are saved, lift your hands in testimony of the glory of God.

b.        If you have put on Christ you have put on the first garment of clothing.

c.        Galatians 3:26-27

26  For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

27  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

d.        He must be the most important thing in your life.

             i.        Because we are His Children, we are brought into an intimate relationship with Him.

            ii.        There is nothing like being able to walk with God, letting Him heal you and change you.

e.        God help us if we don't take advantage of the intimate relationship that Christ wants to have with us. There is nothing like being able to walk with God.

f.        You need to trust Him so much, that if He told you to walk away from your job, that you would be able to do that.

g.        The culture of church is terrible today. Come into church, get filled with the Holy Ghost one minute, and then get filled with the unholy ghost the next.

             i.        Church culture today looks like the Scribes and the Pharisees. Jesus said on the outside you look beautiful, but on the inside you are filled with bones. You look like coffins.

            ii.        What happened with people like John the Baptist, who was more concerned with the message, than he was of the things of this world. On the outside he was comely, but Jesus said out of all the men born of women, he is the greatest man in the world.

1.   God help us if we put our trust in this world, when one day all this is going to be dissolved. You came into this world naked, and you will leave this world naked.

h.        There is only one thing you will take out of this world. The souls you won for Christ are the only things that you take with you, that end up in glory with you.

             i.        When is the last time God gave you a burden for souls?

 i.        We can't be the kind of people that spend so much time worrying about the here and now. The reason Jesus was able to go to the Cross is bvecause He was looking past it.

j.        Many times we get caught up in the trials of this life, and was unable to see the joy of Christ, because we were distracted.

2.   Put on Christ. The word put on, it means literally "to dress oneself, as if with clothes." This is not talking about the physical dress, but the spiritual dress.

a.        Colossians 3:12-17

12  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13  Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

           a.    Christ forgave me, I have no right not to forgive somebody else. I have no right to treat somebody different and worse than what God treats me. I HAVE NO RIGHT!

15  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

           a.    Christianity has nothing to do with physical dress, but it does affect the physical dress.

           b.    You can come to church wearing spiritual clothes and still not act like a Christian. Christianity is not how you dress, it's how you act. Being a Christian means you Christ-like.

b.        Notice that Verse 12 says humbleness of mind. Many people know how to shut their mouths, but they don't know how to humble their minds.

             i.        When you learn how to demand and control yourself, then you don't have to be beating yourself on your chest at home.

            ii.        Verse 12 says longsuffering. Long-suffering is suffering for a long time without changing. It means I'm not gonna give you the right to make me act in a way that's not pleasing to God.

          iii.        If I am easily offended, my problem is deeper than the people around me.

c.        Verse 12 says charity. What is charity? LOVE.

             i.        Can you put on love without putting on Christ? You can't, you will not walk in love, you will walk in the flesh. And when you walk in flesh you will walk in hatred, wrath, disobedience.

            ii.        The flesh and the spirit are totally opposite. You can tell if someone is walking with God by their attitude better than anything else.

d.        Christianity has nothing to do with physical dress, but as you get closer to God, you physical dress will follow.

e.        We must learn how to dress from the inside out. If we could learn that, we could reach the wrold with the Gospel. God looketh on the heart, but if we are so busy trying to impress people, we end up being like those in Scripture - "They love the praise of man, more than the praise of God."

3.   Clothe yourself with Humility.

a.        1 Peter 5:5-9

5  Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

6  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

7  Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

8  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

9  Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

b.        When we are clothed with humility, we can do what God wants us to do regardless of what anyone else does.

c.        The thing that makes us turn from God, makes us retaliate against people, is pride. The reason why we have a hard time living peacefully with people, is because of pride. Pride is deadly, because pride can disguise itself, and sometimes is not easily detected.

             i.        You always know when you're prideful, but the question is, what do you do when you realize it?

d.        How much time did you put into the physical, verses how much time did you put into God today?

e.        When we are prideful, we don't pray.

             i.        When we are prideful, we cast our care upon somebody else. We start looking to others to validate our feelings.

            ii.        Your problem is not with people, your problem is with God.

          iii.        We are never justified to do wrong actions.

          iv.        What does the word offend mean in the Bible? If nothing will offend you, then you will not allow yourself to do something contrary to what is the will of God in your life, no matter what anybody else does.

1.   You wills stay on course because His word is a lamp unto your feet, and a light to your path.

           v.        Jesus was tempted in all points like as we and yet was without sin. If you don't have anybody else, you always have Him, who understands everything that you go through.

f.        God came to Elijah three different times, and every time He showed up He said Elijah, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

             i.        Sometimes when you find yourself in a place that you shouldn't be, you got to ask yourself, why am I here?

g.        1 Kings 19:13-14, 18

13  And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

14  And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

18  Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.

             i.    I love the way God shows up. Whenever God comes and walks in YOUR garden, He comes with a question.

            ii.    When God showed up in the Garden of Eden, he asked Adam, who told you you were naked?

h.        Just because you are the only one out on a limb, doesn't mean there aren't any others out on their own limbs.

 i.        Elijah was never alone. Even if he had nobody by him, he was never by himself. So why did he feel alone? Because he got distracted.

             i.        When you get distracted you lose focus of the big picture, because you have made somebody else in your life more imporant than God. Whenever you allow someone to turn you against God's will, you have made them more important than God.

4.   Dressing the inside is more important than looking right on the outside. Stop putting more stock on that which is physical than that which is spiritual. Do not sacrifice that which is eternal, for something that's temporary. Stop doing it.

a.        If you would just take time out to allow God to work on your mind, we could move on to other things.

b.        Fight the good fight. Keep fighting. Sometimes we have to fight against ourselves.

c.        If I don't keep my body in subjection, I could become unusable to God. Don't let that happen Christians, give it to God.